First of all, let me say HOLY FREAKING SCHNIKEES BATMAN...WHAT A FREAKING GAME??!!!Second, let me say I'm really sorry not to be on the gameday chat thingy agonizing along with you guys, but let me set the stage for you. Me and SimpleHawk got together in a dive bar in a small town with an incredibly beautiful bartender named Rachel, the chicken wings were on special, and there was an obnoxious giants fan two stools down from us, who was a woman who went 315lbs if she weighed an ounce.
(GOX, I think you own several naked pictures of her!!!)
Anyhow, the Yuenglings were flowing, the wings were on special and me and Simple were as obnoxious as to grown men can be in public without getting yourselves thrown out. The bar was packed with Giants fans, most of whom "got" our good natured schtick, and a couple of Cowgirl fans who were sympathetic to our cause, but this ignorant woman just wanted a piece of us.
This is our usual Wednesday night watering hole after our golf league, so the bartenders and a few of the regulars knew me, so I knew we could get away with pushing the envelope. As a matter of fact, Rachel (man she's good looking) came over a few times to warn us about getting "Jabba the Giants Fan" riled up, as I guess she's a regular with a pretty bad drinking problem, and just as bad of an anger management issue. Of course, this was just more ammo for our arsenal, as Simple and I just reveled in yanking her chain. I told Rachel, "don't worry, I seen that movie and I don't want to wind up chained to Jabba in nothing but a sting bikini" which was a disturbing mental image, but she understood.
She called me a F*cking Dickhead (or something like that) and us "losers" among other things, but we wouldn't be deterred. As a matter of fact, as things were looking bleak in the 4th quarter, and the Seahawks were giving up 3rd downs like they were snickers on Halloween, Simple and I were high-fiving and shouting "4 more downs, 4 more downs!" indicating that we were psyched to see our defense play some more.
Anyhow, the only thing better than the Seahawk win, after THREE failed Giant field goal attempts to win the sucker, was watching the fat, old ugly barfly try to preserve whatever shred of dignity she may have come up with by calling us LOSERS as she left the bar. The question wasn't rhetorical, but when we asked "what is a team that loses to LOSERS called", she didn't provide an answer.
Now, on to this week's Moonlight Graham Award presentation.
The NY Giants must have felt like they were Jamie Lee Curtis and we were the infamous Michael Myers, as every time they were SURE they had us killed, we rose up and found a way to continue to haunt them until we could finish them off. However, anyone who has 6 or 7 major studio sequels to their name cannot be considered coming out of obscurity. Coming out of the woods with a bloody butcher knife maybe, but not obscurity!
From what I can remember between the yelling, Yuenglings and chicken wings, MGA consideration must go to Joe Juriviscius, Josh Brown and Michael Boulware. However, JJ has a superbowl ring, so he can't be considered, Josh Brown has been money since the Washington game so he's out, and last year Michael Boulware could have racked up a half dozen MGAs, but he's a known entity now.
So, before I get to this week's recipient, I need to say, that second Shockey catch was NOT A TOUCH DOWN. Last I checked, a receiver needs to get TWO feet in bounds for it to be a catch, whether you're in the middle of the end zone or on the sidelines. He clearly got one foot down, and then was ROCKED with a viscious hit, which dislodged the ball, but never got his second foot down. We was ROBBED on that one. (figures)
That all being said, this week's MGA goes to D.J. Hackett. The dude has been playing his heart out trying to earn some "alba love" and kept coming up a little short in the recent weeks. While he only had two catches for 47 yards, making him the second leading receiver on the team, none was bigger than his 38 yard reception with 6:00 left in overtime on second-and-21. That set up 4 Shaun Alexander runs, to pad his stats and get him is 100 yard game, and then a Josh Brown 36 yard chip shot to win it.
Much like my fellow bar patron, it wasn't pretty, as a matter of fact it was down right ugly, but it's a W just the same, and we'll just have to clinch the division next week. (freaking Texans can't hold a 10 point 4th quarter lead...who do they think they are, the 2004 Seahawks??!!)
Sure the media pundits will say we should have lost that game, so at 9-2 will go back safely under the radar, leaving them to fawn over the likes of the Bears, Panthers and Falcons, and maybe after we kick Philly's ass at the Vet next week, they'll start to take notice.
